


Cocky Bastard

by Queenoffluff (orphan_account)



Series: Draco vs. The bugs [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 12:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6753499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Queenoffluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco is not the only one with bug-related issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cocky Bastard

**Author's Note:**

> Characters belong to the Harry Potter Universe, hence to J.K. Rowling. 
> 
>  
> 
> Unbetaed. Mention of any errors will be much appreciated.

**Cocky Bastard**

“This is really something,” were Draco’s first words after the shocked silence that lasted several minutes.

“Ugh,” Harry groaned, covering his face with his hands.

“Who would’ve thought you’d get me _back_ into the closet?” wonder painted Draco’s tone.

“You were already in the closet when I arrived,” argued Harry.

“I was well out of the closet by the time you arrived,” sniffed Draco.

Harry groaned again. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Even worse,” he continued.  “You pushed me inside and then joined me,” Harry didn’t dare look up at Draco’s probably stunned face.

Harry crossed his arms and leaned against the far wall, which wasn’t really very far, considering the limited space.

“You won’t even try to make an excuse?” Draco asked.

“You saw what happened,” Harry shrugged.

“I don’t think I quite believe it yet,” Draco turned wide eyes on his boyfriend. Harry sighed.

“Aren’t Gryffindors supposed to be brave?” Draco sounded so genuinely surprised he couldn’t even be offended at the question. It only made Harry fidget and sigh, feeling extremely un-Gryffindor right then.

He had come home to find it in a state of absolute chaos, his blood had chilled at the scene and he drew his wand, frantically searching for Draco and not daring to consider something could have happened to his lover.

Tables and chairs were turned and shoved to the sides, as if someone had pushed them out of their way trying to escape, a picture frame was lying broken on the floor next to a rag and a duster, showing Draco must’ve been cleaning. Harry hastened his search, feet noiseless and wand held high.

Suddenly, there was a clatter coming from the hallway, he turned quickly and headed towards it. The door to the coat closet was slightly open, the hall otherwise empty and with no indication that whatever had happened in the living room reached that place. He was about to turn back when the door moved, he raised his wand in preparation. A head peeked out from behind the door, grey eyes widening in relief when they spotted Harry. He practically ran towards Draco.

“Are you alright?” he asked, taking his boyfriend into his arms and squeezing.

“Where is it?” was Draco’s response. Harry tensed again at those words and he pulled back, firming the grasp on his wand. When he noticed the look in Draco’s eyes, he turned around, adopting a defensive pose.

“Where’s what?”

“The-” Draco started, but interrupted himself with a gasp.

Harry turned his wand to where Draco was pointing, a spell ready on his lips to find…

“A cockroach? Seriously, Draco?” Harry’s tension deflated in a gush. Draco’s grip on his arm tightened.

“Harry…” he said warningly.

“This has to stop, I’m going to develop a heart condition if you keep giving me such frights,” Harry scolded.

“Harry!” hissed Draco, clenching the fabric of Harry’s sleeve.

“I can see it moving, Draco. You don’t need to rip my arm out,” he rolled his eyes. “Now,” he turned his eyes to the insect and fell silent when he noticed something odd about the way it was moving. Harry’s eyes widened as it took flight.

“Bollocks! Not again!” said Draco. As if taking those words as a challenge, the bug turned towards them.

“Oh, no. No, no, no,” Harry tensed up.

“Do something!” yelped Draco as it drew nearer.

Harry did the only thing he could think of.

And that was how they found themselves in the position they were in now. After another stunned silence, Draco snickered, then chuckled and eventually fell apart in a fit of laughter.

“The great Harry Potter,” he gasped amidst laughs, “defeated by a cockroach.”

“A flying cockroach,” Harry tried to defend his pride, but Draco’s mirth was contagious and he quickly joined in.

“This is ridiculous,” Harry declared finally.

“Absolutely ridiculous,” agreed Draco. “But we’re not leaving this place any time soon, are we?”

“There are things that I just can’t do, Draco.”

“Want to snog?” offered Draco.

“That I can do,” never one to waste an opportunity, Harry pushed his lover against the wall and proceeded to do just that, until they were both gasping and tearing at each other’s clothes. But before they could get far, they heard a gasp from outside and someone pushed their way into the closet, nearly crushing them before slamming the door. All Harry could see in the scarce seconds in between was a flash of red hair.

“Ron?”

He jumped up and away. “Blimey, Harry! What are you doing here?” Harry could faintly see Ron clutching his chest.

“I assume the same as you,” drawled Draco in response, fingers still playing in Harry’s hair, not even attempting to move out of his position.

“Oh, Malfoy, hi,” Ron answered distractedly.

Draco hummed against Harry’s jaw and then started mouthing it. Harry sighed softly and tightened his grip around Draco.

“Ugh, stop it! Stop it!” Ron shouted.

“What?” Harry asked, innocently.

“Whatever it is you’re doing! I’m here, you know?”

“Ugh, Weasley. We were sort of busy before you came,” Draco sighed.

“In the closet?” Ron asked and Harry could feel Draco tensing at the words. He only had time to sigh just before he was pushed away. 

“Seriously?” Harry turned to his boyfriend.

“I am suddenly disinclined to continue our activities,” huffed Draco.

“Thanks a lot, Ron,” Harry did his best to glare at his so called friend in the dark.

Ron snickered. “So, the cockroach, huh?”

The three of them sighed at the same time.

“How long do you think will it take for Hermione to notice we’re missing?”

 

* * *

 

 

Three hours and many sighs later, they were sitting in the newly rearranged living room, listening how Hermione couldn’t quite contain her laughter as she relayed how they looked when she found them all huddled in the closet, after killing the cockroach.

Draco was sitting as dignified as he could while Harry and Ron blushed in embarrassment.

“Honestly. And I thought you were all grown men,” she finished, wiping cheery tears from her eyes.

Draco cleared his throat and stood up.

“Hermione,” he extended a hand towards her. “You are a true Gryffindor,” this was said with a pointed look to the other two, “and have yet again proven the extreme worth of your acquaintance. You have my respect,” she took the proffered hand and shook it, a smile on her face.

Draco nodded with a half-smile and turned to leave the room. “I insist you stay over for dinner,” he called out.

“We’d love to!” she answered. Draco acknowledged this with a wave.

“So,” said Hermione as she turned towards her other friends. “Where are my thanks?”

 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> You don't know true horror until you see a cockroach flying towards you.
> 
>  
> 
> Find me on [ Tumblr!](http://queenoffluff.tumblr.com)


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